PIRATE JOE SOLVES THE CORPORATE BONUS PROBLEM

16 March 2009



    O.K. Everybody’s up in arms about the big bonuses being paid to AIG execs with federal bail out funds. Yup, the very folks who lost you your job are getting big, fat cheques as a reward for their malfeasance and greed. Are you pissed off yet? If not, consider this: these bonuses are being paid for with our (your) taxes! These greedy, rapacious churls who destroyed our economy are getting even richer, and we’re paying for it!
    Nobody seems to know what to do...gee, it’s a contract! How could it be broken? What can we do? You don’t know what to do?

I know what to do!

    Do I have to solve another one? Yes? O.K. I will. This is so easy I really can’t figure out why no one has thought of it. Duh...

Someone in the U.S. congress should draft a bill. Here’s the tentative language:

“Any bonus money paid to any firm or individual by any entity receiving federal bail out funds will be taxable at a rate of 100%, due upon receipt of said funds by said firms or individuals.”


Done.

    No problems with contract law or anything. I cannot imagine that such a bill would not be passed unanimously by both houses and signed by president Obama, tout de suite! In fact, the only people I can think of who would be against it would be Rush Limbaugh and his sycophantic crew of me-too boys!

    So stop wringing your hands! Call your congressmen! Give them this idea! Let’s solve this simple problem and move on!
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©16 March 2009, Pirare Joe