Alternative Energy Time-Warp
got the alternative energy blues. It’s probably because I’m not too
bright: you see, I’ve got this silly notion that “alternative energy”
should be “conventional energy” by now. Yes, I said now: not in some Mother
Goose fairyland time-frame some sixty years after we’ve landed on Mars.
For some strange reason I can’t shake the notion that after 36 years,
it’s utterly unacceptable that (vis à vis alternative energy)
we’ve accomplished absolutely nothing, and that those scumbag oil
futures traders have started to ramp up gas prices again, despite the
fact that we’re in the Great Depression of 2009.
figured it all out. It’s really still 1973. Yeah, that’s it. It’s still
1973; I’ve been dreaming all this 2009 stuff and everything in between.
When I wake up, Nixon will still be president, the Vietnam War will be
raging, people will be asking: “what’s a watergate?”, folks will be
queuing up in gas lines, no one will have yet heard the relentless
pounding of disco (and) it’s only eleven years ‘till 1984! (like,
feel so bad now. It’s like, we (just) haven’t had enough time to deal
with this Arab Oil Embargo thing, but I know that all those cool
alternatives I keep hearing about on the evening news will be reality
by 1978 at the latest, and we won’t have to think about OPEC any more
after that. I can’t wait! Everyone will have backyard solar panels or
wind generators, or both! I’ve also heard that you could drill down
about 3Km and get free heat! Amazing! It’s pretty clear that by
1980 or so, all these things will be quite common, after all, why would
we still be giving billions to OPEC for something we could get for
free? That would be kind of silly, right? Right. Nobody would let that happen.
wait to wake up and tell my friends about this bizarre dream, after
all, I dreamed that it was 2009 (!)
and we were still getting less than 1% of our electricity from wind and
solar! Imagine that! In 2009! (no one is going to believe me, we
all know that by 1990, petroleum will account for only 15% of our
energy needs ). They will probably start throwing things at me when I
tell them that gas actually hit $4.50 a gallon in 2008, and that the
icons of the environmental movement started endorsing nuclear power in
2007. They’ll laugh and tell me that if I keep having dreams such as
these, I’d better go see a shrink. Come to think of it, I’m not even
going to mention disco.
I’m going to be able to make it to their pads tonight, I’ll need to get gas today. This is an “even” day and my
license plate is odd, so I’ll have to “borrow” someone else’s plates to
get on the gas line. Hope I can get that done before the guy hangs out
the “Sorry, Nix-on gas today” sign.